more bible nonsense
there's never an end to the fun wackiness of religion.
a creationist dutchman has built a "life size" replica of noah's ark, complete with replicas of the animals that were supposedly sheltered in it.
the story of noah's ark is definitely my favorite bible nonsense story, i love it more than the story of lot's wife turning into a salt lick. the bible is a surrealist masterpiece. it must have been written by alfred jarry.
anyway, let's look into the logistics of building an ark large enough to fit all of god's creatures. there are 9,000-10,000 species of birds. there are over 800 breeds of cattle. a few hundred breeds of horses. 900,000 species of insects. 4,500 documented species of frogs and their relatives. 2,500 breeds of snakes. animals in africa - such as primates, elephants, tigers, gazelle, zebra, giraffes, crocodile, cheetah, and thousands more. primates outside of africa. bears on several continents. vermin. how about australia? 80% of their mammals, reptiles and flowering plants are specific to an island that was in no way reachable by somebody in israel in the days before el al. how do the americas fit in? did he take the queen mary over and ship all the critters to the ark via ups? there are 60,000 species of arachnids. now multiply all the animals x2, because you need male and female versions.
so, how big was this ark? according the the bible it was 300 cubits long, which translates roughly into 450 feet. that's one and a half football fields. a 450 foot long wooden ship built several thousand years ago containing 2 of every species of every possible land animal? seriously? how did he keep the animals separated? how long did it take for him to research and then assemble tens of millions of species and get them into the ark? after the flood, how is it that animals ended up so far from israel, in places not connected to asia, europe or africa by land such as the americas, hawaii or australia? after the flood was over, did he randomly pick species by lottery and send them out on little rafts just to see where they end up, like throwing a bottle in the sea? is that why there are animals in the new world? how could such a large structure possibly stay afloat for any length of time without disintegrating in a storm of that magnitude? if every bit of earth is being covered with water, it's because it's raining really, really hard for a really, really, really long time, like a hurricane that covered the world for a few months or even years. and where is all this extra water coming from anyway? there's only so much on this planet. please don't tell me that god made it. how many thousands of people would it have taken to tend to the animals and stuff. what about food for them? was an ark support convoy built that only carried food and fresh water?
this is just lol funny.
more religion goodies:
witless jehovah
my father and i received a great parting gift from a departing group of jehovah's witnesses.
» read | posted: 2007-11-11
apology
i wrote an item on christianity and didn't factcheck it. it's gone.
» read | posted: 2007-07-09
merry christmas... from mars!
what will happen to christianity when humans are no longer living on the earth?
» read | posted: 2007-04-18
